


Starring role

by MaroonDragon



Series: Songs of lovers [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:19:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonDragon/pseuds/MaroonDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Loki fell in love with the man he had intended to crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starring role

The mortal had not stood a chance against him. He knew they were fallible creatures and the allure of having a god was too much to resist for them. Even if he had to get Stark, very, very drunk to give himself without too much hassle. While he loved to combine pain with pleasure, taking the man against his will would have upset the balance negatively. Pushing the result to pain and fear. Now he had the man craving him, leaving him vulnerable to his advances.

 

_“God, LOKI!” The man exclaimed as the god pressed into him. The satisfaction of having the great Tony Stark at his mercy, was truly a high never experienced before. He had other men before that had squirmed with pleasure beneath him, but never one that was so at war with himself over it._

_Currently the alcohol in the mortal’s system was lowering all his inhibitions, but he would certainly remember the night the next day. He would tear himself apart over it._

**You're hard to hug, tough to talk to**   
**And I never fall asleep, when you're in my bed**   
**All you give me is a heartbeat**   
**I've turned into a statue**   
**And it makes me feel depressed**   
**Cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed**

Loki always was surprised when his heartbeat sped up and he could feel it pulsing in his body. When the blood pressure was low, he could almost fool himself into not having one at all. He had no heart anymore, he had just fragments of what once was. The man had struggled at first, when he had come for the second time. He had also refused to drink another drop of alcohol, leaving that form of persuasion out of the question.

 

After a few soft caresses and some tougher one, the man had given into his hunger and attacked him just as fierce. The small ache it had given Loki to know that he nearly had decided to take the man by force went ignored by the god. Though he could not deny that he regretted that the only form of companionship he now had was with a man who could not utter a single nice word about him.

 

_He barely felt any pain when he hit the other man’s face. He could deal with Stark screaming obscenities as he came, but he would not tolerate any mentioning of his father. The jerky movement of Tony’s head however told him he had hid him harder than he intended. The mortal had made the mistake once before and his cries of pain had only barely been matched with those of pleasure._

_He brushed his cold fingers over the already bruising skin. There was such a difference between them as he watched his pale skin connect with the tanned one. His heart rate jumped as he felt Tony bite the tip of the finger that strayed too his mouth. A heartbeat, he still had one. Feeling a frustration well up in him he threw the man on the bed._

_He tried to ignore the way the man seemed to let go of himself and completely trust Loki not to abuse him too terribly. Hot the man kissed, bit and licked at his neck. It was after all only lust talking. Lust and fear, there was no emotion involved._   
  
**You don't love me, big fucking deal**   
**I'll never tell, you how I feel**   
**You don't love me, not a big deal**   
**I'll never tell you how I feel**

He had never planned to return so often. He tried to lie to himself the first few weeks. No, there was no emotion involved. Stark did not make him want him. Why on earth would he, a god, ever have a need for the smaller mortal?

 

It became more difficult though to mask his whimpers and soft touches into cruel words and scarring wounds. He wanted to feel loved, even if it was merely an illusion of his own creation. He just needed a soft touch, to have some warmth he could sink into after a harsh battle. Even if the warmth was the pliant body of his enemy. He would never admit to it. Tony Stark would not break him. He would never know how much the god had become dependent on him.

 

He knew the mortal was not faring well under his touch. Oh, the moment they were given the man would in the end always give in and enjoy everything Loki gave him, but when the lights went out and he disappear the human would wilt away.

 

_He was in the mansion again. He had to be careful with hit teleportation as Stark had become sensitive to his brand of magic. If he ever wanted to just observe without being seen, he needed to appear outside of the building where the man would not feel his penetration of his sanctum. More than once he wanted to get angry along with the failing mortal as bottles got smashed by his hands. He wanted to join the man for something else than just sex. See the similarities between them, form a bond based on mutual agreements._

_He kept his face impassive when he regarded the man face to face, but here, hidden in the shadows and invisible he let his hurt openly shine through. He had given the man an addiction to him, but he could never ever make the man love him. The moment he stopped giving the man what he craved, there would be a fall back, but in the end Tony would just put it past him as an addiction to the lust Loki instigated. Never ever Love._

  
**It almost feels like a joke to play out the part**   
**When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart**   
**You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role**   
**If I can't get the starring role.**   
**Sometimes I ignore you so I feel in control**   
**Cause really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone**   
**Fed up with the fantasies, they cover what is wrong**   
**Come on, baby, let's just, get drunk, forget we don't get on**

Pepper once almost caught them in the act and he had seen the look of horror on Stark’s face. The pure unaltered regret of someone who knew what he was doing was wrong. It was a vile and dirty act and the mortal would never consent to it had he not fallen prey to Loki’s silver tongue.

 

He didn’t want to be the dirty little secret and while he knew Tony would never take another lover when he was still underneath his thumb, he could not repress the fear that one day the mortal would leave. Loki only gave him two out of the three things he clearly craved. He was what Stark wanted and what he needed to stop from crashing at the moment, but he would never be loved by Tony. He knew that he was still in control and he could crush the mortal with his bare hands if he wanted to, but that was the problem: he didn’t want to.

_Stark was drunk again and Loki felt a spark of frustration at it. He did nothing though but just look at the slumped figure on the couch. On the one hand the man would give in oh so willingly when he was drunk, on the other hand though the man was often a lot less responsive and his eyes were always so very clouded with the haze of alcohol. When he approached the lazy man he was surprised to find a hand on his face when he leaned in._

_“So beautiful…” The genius muttered and he hesitated for a moment. For tonight he would leave the haze of alcohol cloud the mind, as long as those words kept being spoken with such conviction._

_Stark kept up the compliments through the nights and for a second Loki whished he was just as drunk, so he could easily fool himself that they were words spoken out of love. That he could just forget for a second that tomorrow they would be on the opposite sides of the battle._

  
**I never sent for love, I never had a heart to mend  
Because before the start began, I always saw the end**

**Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me**   
**But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free**   
**Yeah I'll never set you free**

He had never asked for this. This cruel twist of fate that the man he loved so much was forced near him by mere manipulation. He could hurt him, beat him, degrade him and in the end Tony would never turn him away. He had made himself an addiction, but he knew that if the mortal had a chance to get rid of him without repercussions he would take it in a heartbeat.

 

Every night he hoped to see some form of kindness in those eyes and not the hardened blankness. Oh the pleasure was clearly there, but true emotion…a true connection? He just couldn’t see anything but a steel wall behind those brown pools, then again what did he expect? Who would ever love a monster?

 

It would have been better for him to just disappear and let the man deal with the repercussions of being deprived of his drug, his addiction. When he felt those warm hands however, that skillful tongue…he just could not send the man away. Could not let him go. Would not let him go. He’d rather have a plaything than nothing at all. _Liar._

" _We need to stop this! This will ruin everything…leave and don't fucking come back." How could the mortal ever believe he had a say in what he did or did not do._

" _Don't you understand Stark, there is no turning back! You already have my marks all over your body and I intend to keep claiming it until I get bored with it. Do you understand that Stark, you are mine, and there is nothing you can do to stop that." Loki didn’t leave the building that night, merely made himself invisible. He watched with weary eyes as Tony climbed out of his bed and took out a bottle of painkillers in the bathroom. He wasn’t certain whether to be relieved or frustrated the man didn’t end his life there and then. He didn’t want him to die, but at least it would make the decision for him. He didn’t need to run, didn’t need to wage war with himself, when the reason for his troubles no longer existed._  
  
 **It almost feels like a joke to play out the part**  
 **When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart**  
 **You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role**  
 **If I can't get the starring role.**

“I’ll never be as cold as you.”The words were spiteful and felt like the blow of a hammer when they penetrated his brain. If only the mortal knew how he felt on fire near him. In his anger he lashed out, slotting his hands around Stark’s neck. It wasn’t until he felt the violent tremors of a body fighting for oxygen that he realized what he was doing. With a yell of fright he pulled away, staring in horror at his hands. Tony however was violently coughing on the bed.

“What? Can’t do it….why don’t you just finish me and be done with it. Release me from this misery!” He was surprised the mortal still had a voice left.

“Never do you hear me! You are not allowed to end your life!” The thought of losing Stark clogging up his throat.

“why shouldn’t I! You’re tearing me apart god damnit! Do you want me to bleed out on the floor as you pull every bone out of my body!”

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” His hands clutched his hair, he didn’t want to hear the terror he had caused, even if it had been his first intention.

“What, don’t like to hear the god damn truth! This was your own fucking plan right.” Another coughing fit as Tony touched his bruising throat.

“NO! Why couldn’t you have just loved me!” Every shred of sanity had left him.

“God damnit I do love you! It’s you who cannot love, fucking psychopath!”

“What?” No, had they truly twisted and pulled at something so fragile because they did not know how to express it without causing hurt.

“You know what, you fucking bastard!”

“Please, tell me again.” He was begging and apparently the man realized it to because he was looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“I love you. God this is messed up.” He groaned and Loki couldn’t agree more.

“Again.” He whispered as he leaned over the smaller man and pressed soft kisses to the skin.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“Not until you tell me first.”  He almost smiled at the sudden regained boldness.

“I love you too.”

“Again…”  
  
 **The starring role**


End file.
